|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Reaching the Ultimate Level in Human Relationships
I want to tell you a little story. Not about anything dramatic. On the contrary, it's very ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, that the many onlookers who must have been standing around didn't bat an eyelid when they overheard this brief conversation in a busy butcher shop. Hardly surprising that it made no impression on them because, seemingly, there was nothing to be impressed by. Except for one highly perceptive soul whose finely tuned spiritual antennae were able to pick up subtle nuances far above the heads of the rest of us. He is a man who often speaks in public, and he was excited by what he had overheard in the butcher shop that day that he just couldn't wait for the first opportunity to share the story with a public audience. And thanks to his fortuitous presence in the shop just at that moment, I'm able to share it with you as well. A young woman came into the shop and asked for freshly ground beef. The butcher told her that he had just ground some beef and held up a bag for her inspection. She examined the bag, but rejected it. It was too white, she claimed. The butcher assured her that the reddest meat turns white in the grinding process, but his young customer wouldn't bite. She remained unconvinced. The butcher didn't flinch. He held up some red meat for her examination and asked her if it met with her requirements. She confirmed that it was in order, and the butcher put it through the grinder. He politely handed the woman the resulting product without saying a word. It was just as white as the already ground beef he had originally offered her. As I said, a most unremarkable incident. At this point, if the audience reacted at all, it was only to express their great amazement that the lecturer had seen fit to mention such a trivial incident at all. What was he trying to prove? But it only took a couple of seconds for the speaker's palpable sense of excitement to infect everybody in the room. "Look," he said, "what would you have done had you been in this butcher's place. "What would you have said as you handed over the meat and handed the customer's money?" That answer, of course is obvious. What would any "normal" person have said, if not for something like: "Isn't this just what I told you? When you grind the meat, it turns white." "And could you have restrained yourself?" asked the lecturer rhetorically. "I could never have restrained myself." But the butcher did restrain himself. Now, for most of us, there comes a time in our life when we have to make a choice: do we want to be right or do we want to be loved? When people interact with each other, conflict is inevitable. That's a fact of life we can't run away from. But when handled properly, conflict need not drive the parties further apart. On the contrary, it could bring them closer together. This is especially true of intimate relationships. Occasional conflict can even promote intimacy. The truth is that conflict is hardly ever the problem. What tears the heart right out of potentially good relationships is the stubborn streak in the best of us that insists that we are always right on all occasions and in every circumstance. By implication, that means that the other side is never right. In other words, when something goes sour, our partner is always to blame. And the secret wish of every "blamer" is that the other side will yet wake up one fine morning and say: "Gee, honey, now I understand the error of my ways. You were right and I was wrong. Please forgive me for upsetting you so much!" Isn't it sad that such a morning never comes? Now when, through sheer determination, we manage, once and for all, to pull ourselves out of the blame mode that's somehow almost our second nature, that's great. We're well on the way. But we should know that we have not necessarily reached the highest level yet. Let's take another look at our story. What did our butcher gain by not gently pointing out, as he handed over the goods and took the money, that he was right all along? If he had said it politely and tactfully, the good lady would surely have not taken offence. But the butcher was concerned with the woman's ego, not his. If, by keeping his mouth shut - even if that ran contrary to plain human nature - he could spare his customer the small embarrassment of knowing that she had been in error, and even if it would have been an embarrassment lasting only a few seconds - why not? And as we should know, putting the needs of the other party before your own is putting yourself on the fast track of the royal road to happiness. Azriel Winnett is creator of Hodu.com - Your Communication Skills Portal at http://hodu.com. This popular free website helps you improve your communication and relationship skills in your business or professional life, in the family unit and on the social scene. New articles added almost daily. Visit Azriel's blog at: http://hodu.com/blog.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Playful, Innocent Phone Sex So you're sitting there on the phone, trying to talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend whom you haven't seen in a while and you're trying to keep things interesting by talking about the days events, how much you miss each other, etc.So far so good. Sacred Relationships: Divine Source Questions and Answers from Divine SourceThrough Barbara Rose1. What is a "Sacred Relationship"?2. Does Age Matter? In the Asian online dating world it is not uncommon for a older gentlemen to marry a younger lady. If you ask why this is the case, you'll get a varied amount of comments. African Dating - Pride and Ambition It is no secret that African culture is known for its pride. Most Africans do not have a problem standing up for their beliefs and causes, and are often ambitious when it comes to obtaining specific goals. Rescue and Rebuild Your Relationship: 7 Tips to Make it Work Create Time To Share And Time On Your Own.Establish time to spend together and time for yourself. Very Old Secret To Melt The Heart Of Your Beloved My Dear Lover,Communication is one of the key ingredients for the success of aLong Distance Relationship.You can communicate by messenger, by phone, by email, by web cams,by snail mail, etc. 10 Ways to Seduce A Woman I have written this article by request but want to begin by saying that I in no way encourage men to treat women like objects. Men, this is a guide to help you win over a woman that you have a genuine interest in. Relationship Advice: Two Tips for Great Relationships Relationship Tip 1I've been blessed with working with thousands of couples over the last 25 years. Out of all those couples, it has been very very rare to see a situation where both people did not have their fingerprints on the mess. Anniversary Blues Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a conversation if you listen only to the content of what is being said. Trouble such as debating, arguing and nitpicking. Lovers Quarrel One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. Telling the Hard Truth Watching television's "sitcom's", I can't help but notice that most of the plots revolve around the same theme - someone being afraid to tell someone else the truth. We saw it in the years that Ross loved Rachel, that Niles loved Daphne, or that George hated Susan. Should I Leave This Relationship? How do you know when it's time to say goodbye to a relationship? In any intimate relationship-especially in a marriage-it's not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup.Signs of TroubleThere are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. Reading Body Language in Depth Body Language can tell you a lot about what is happening in a relationship in so many ways. Is somebody feeling distant, having second thoughts, or are they going to go home rip off all your clothes and make wild, passionate love to you as soon as you close the front door. Soulmates, Are They Pre-ordained? One day a telegram arrived at a man's door. When he opened it, he learned that his best friend had passed away. A Heat-scar Named Desire Where on earth is my "play on words" taking me with this one?I remember so well those taunting words."They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at Elysian Fields. Relationship Habits How many of you have ever been involved with a significant other who wanted you to do something you didn't want to do? I doubt that I'm the only one. By virtue of a significant other relationship, there will be times when our partners will want us to do things we don't necessarily want to do and conversely, there will be times when we will want our partners to do things they don't want to do. Q & A: Reuniting With a Lost Love >1. Who are the prime candidates to rekindle a romance?The most successful rekindled romances were lost lovers who had been 17 or younger at the time of the initial romance -- first loves -- and had separated for situational reasons, like "parents disapproved," "moved away. The Man - Truth of The Visual Being The article What Turns Them On explained about how men are visual being towards a woman's beauty. But don't go off thinking that all men are shallow just yet. Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters? Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent study of underwater creatures proves conclusively that oysters have certain properties that could very well enhance performance in the bedroom.
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
