|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down
"Every three months or 3,000 miles." That's how the sticker in the left upper corner of my windshield reads. It's a matter of common knowledge that we are supposed to maintain, service, and tune up our cars if we want them to run well and last. In my experience, it rarely occurs to us to do the same thing with our love relationships. More and more of the couples I see are not in need of long term therapy, they are more in need of a short term relationship tune up. 7 Key Points What first attracted you to each other? - This is the first question I ask most couples because it helps to be reminded that your partner has some great qualities that led you to want to be in this relationship. What are some of the strengths of your relationship? - Instead of all the things that are wrong with your relationship, what I want to know is what are some of the strengths of the relationship upon which we can build in order to solve the problems with which they are struggling. When have you been the closest? - One of the easiest ways to tune up your relationship is to do the things you were doing when you were the closest. You may have noticed that the first 3 questions were all focused on positives in the relationship. This is done on purpose. One of the dangers of traditional marriage counseling is a focus on what is wrong or defective with an individual or the relationship. One of the many benefits of relationship coaching is a focus on using the strengths in the relationship to build up the areas where the relationship is weak. What are your partner's emotional needs and what are your own? - If you do not know, hear are the two crucial questions to ask: 1) In order to feel loved by me, what do you need to feel in our relationship? 2) What are some ways I can meet those needs? What is your partner's love language and what is yours? - Some folks need to hear it, some folks need to see it, and some folks need to feel it. How do the two of you "do conflict?" - Conflict in a relationship is inevitable. Fighting is optional. What is your vision for your relationship? - Without a vision, a relationship can perish. Here are a few questions most couples never take the time to even think about, much less ask: 1) If we could design our relationship any way we wanted, how would we like it to be? 2) What goals do we have for our relationship? 3) What do we want to give, and what do we want to get in our relationship? For more immediately useable tips and tools for your relationship, visit relationship coach Jeff Herring's interactive website at SecretsofGreatRelationships.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters? Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent study of underwater creatures proves conclusively that oysters have certain properties that could very well enhance performance in the bedroom. Can Men And Women Be Friends? Or When Harry Met Sally Did He Really Just Want to Jump Her Bones? Men and women can't really be just friends, can they? Of course not. There's always that pesky sexual tension to contend with. Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner. And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents I came from good people. I didn't always know that. Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic If you don't have the time, money or energy to plan and execute the perfect date, you're not alone. The good news is you can set up a romantic evening in just a few minutes and without any cost. Happily Single v Happily Married Have you noticed how so many people spend their lives wishing they were something they are not?Short people would like to be tall; plump people want to be thin; singles want to be in a relationship, possibly married, and those who are married eye their single friends and the freedom they have, with some jealousy.Family gatherings are always a minefield for the singletons amongst us. Improve Your Love Luck with Feng Shui! Are you tired of looking for love without success? If so, the layout, furnishings, and energy of your home and bedroom could be part of the problem. When the areas of your home affecting your love life are cluttered, missing from your floor plan, or suffering from sha chi (harmful energy) it can be difficult to find and maintain a good relationship. Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIt's natural to want to maintain a relationship with our former romantic partners (assuming that the relationship ended on reasonably good terms, of course). To Love Or To Be In Love What is the basic difference between loving someone and being in love with the person? Before we can be sure that we have found true love, we need to be sure what these two terminologies mean.Is it possible to meet someone, connect with the person and love the person's personality, way of life, etc? Truly be comfortable with such a person? Certainly! Most of us know significant others in our lives who fall into this category. A Friend in Need Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews. Desirous Attachment , the Trap and the Solution I've seen a lot in my life. A lot of people suffering, fearful, temporarily joyous angry, hurt, resentful, longing, hopeful, and ecstatic too. Name That Tune Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 26, 2004I have been married to a wonderfully grounded woman for nine years, and we have two young children. The problem? My mother-in-law lives from crisis to crisis. How Valentine's Day Gifts Can Expose a Cheating Husband If you have the nagging feeling that your husband may be having an affair, this is the ideal time to confirm what you suspect. The Valentine's Day gifts he gives or receives can provide you with tangible proof of his infidelity. Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. The Real Way for Men to WOW the Woman They Love Guys, I know the struggle, you want to give her a gift that will thrill her, really show her how much you care for her. I am always trying to do this for my wife and it takes a serious game plan. Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in our marriage? I always tell my wife I love her and would do anything in the world for her. That doesn't seem to do it for her. Abusive Relationships Abusive relationships are so painful that I often wonder why it takes so long for us to know that it is abusive, addictive love we are experiencing. The damage created by an abusive relationship only worsens over time, weakening the abused and giving the abuser more power. Why Do Men Cheat? In my relationship work, this question is probably the one I hear most often. It is not an easy question to answer. The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50 I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The hassles of trying to meet someone is grating over my nerve cells. Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes, Part I Have you ever wondered why you feel an instant attraction to certain people? These intense reactions are pre-determined by a powerful astrological principle commonly known as horoscopes.The daily horoscopes not only list the Zodiac signs for each month but also each signs' distinctive personality type.
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
