|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Are Women From Utopia And Men From Wal-Mart?
It is surprising how many writers, psychologists, or scientists have made it their life's work focusing on the gender differences. In our male-dominated society it is no coincidence that men have undertaken the bulk of this work. They made an effort to help men and women get along, but deep down the sexes are much more alike than the world cares to admit. Today, most believe that men and women are significantly different in every respect. The focus on these differences has divided men and women, instead of bringing them closer together. More importantly, it discourages both sexes to grow and unify on a human level. Still viewed as the inferior sex, women feel compelled to assume utopian attributes such as nurturing to the extreme and giving to the point of running empty. Women are expected to live up to the expectations of their families, employers and society. To add to their burden, they ought to stay slim, sexy, attractive, loving, caring and emotionally balanced. In their attempts to meet these expectations, many women lose their identities, values, self-worth and even their minds. In contrast, the "superior" male sex has been praised for its Wal-Mart attributes of being realistic, practical, efficient and logical. Consequently, men still run the country, hold most of the assets and control the majority of public and economic affairs. Yet, men experience their own stress in a competitive world that expects them to be the pillar of their families. Many men are still programmed to be the sole economic provider in their families and suffer their own anxieties. Feeling the pressure of maintaining an affluent lifestyle or even just making ends meet, many become workaholics, grow bellies, lose their hair and become candidates for heart attacks. Both men and women alike experience stress trying to be super-humans in a society in which they feel they never quite "cut it." Preoccupation with the differences often prevents men and women from asking each other for help. Consequently, both suffer silently through their own pain blaming each other for their differences and lack of understanding: "Men are never this" and "Women are always that." As a result of the generalization of their differences, men "shut down" and women turn to friends, therapy or medication. The outcomes are unfulfilling, frustrating relationships that increase stress or even lead to divorce. Consequently, we wonder whether men failed women, or vice versa. So much effort and money has been spent (and made) on exaggerating emotional, intellectual and communicative differences between the sexes that we indeed believe ourselves to be from different planets. We must look beyond the differences and realize that women cannot live without Wal-Mart, nor can men live without utopia. Women need Wal-Mart for the practical, logical and task-oriented aspects of their lives and, in fact, may be shopping at Wal-Mart more often than men. On the other hand, men need utopia to experience all the beauty and humanity of life, and are visiting utopia more frequently than they admit. We are all from the same planet. It is about time we bridged the gap between the sexes and realized that we are human beings with many of the same needs, desires, dreams and hopes. Whatever the case may have been in hunting-and-gathering societies of the past, today we are all hunting for the same things. Men and women alike are hunting for love, happiness, validation and prosperity, and are gathering whatever they feel is necessary to achieve this. Now, more than at any other time, men and women need each other in the pursuit of these common goals. Do we really think that investing in gender stereotyping encourages successful relationships? Today, both sexes seek to be loved and accepted, instead of being labeled. Do we really think that lovers connect, because they have figured out their gender differences? Love flourishes when both move beyond gender differences and rejoice in their commonalities. True love is based on mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity all of which promote the human potential of both sexes and allow for interaction without judgment. Men and women are indeed living as if they are from different planets and often do not connect intimately as human beings. Gender differences have been analyzed to death, and we may never be able to understand a man or woman. However, we will always be able to understand and respect a human being once we realize that we are all human beings first and men or women second. Inside each of us, men and women alike, lies a vulnerable soul, the desire to love and be loved, the need to be validated, respected and to feel important. Regardless of gender, deep down we all have a fragile ego that often feels inferior. Recognizing that both sexes have many of the same vulnerabilities and strengths is the key to men and women relating to one another on a human level. We need to free each other from the gender roles that society has cast upon us and start focusing on the ties that bind us. The commonalities between men and women are so much greater than their differences. As we change our attitudes towards each other, we will be able to relate to one another on common ground. Lasting love is only possible when we appreciate that our focus on gender differences has been of great disservice. For any relationship to become a stable and lasting anchor in our lives, we must learn to give up our pride and unrealistic expectations of each other. If we are to find true love in this misunderstood world of males and females, we must stop trying to figure out the opposite gender and focus on the human being inside. © 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of "Are You Fit To Love?" ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at http://www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Gay and Lesbian Relationships America has a reluctance to accept relationships between people of the same gender. This reluctance follows a similar pattern to the hostility towards interracial relationships. Save Your Relationships (5 Easy Steps To A Winning Relationship) We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. Each person has a shopping list of hopes and expectations, secret demands he/she makes on their partners. 5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman As there are different types of women, there are different ways to arouse them as well. If you have been in a bit of a slump here are some quick ways to rev up your love life:1) Dress in a suit and take her out to a romantic dinner. Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends Introduction"It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn't really been together all that long, but I thought I'd finally found my true soul mate. True Love - Part 1 True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game?More often than not, it is not uncommon to find that either one partner feels really strongly about the other, whilst the other just bides time because he or she is the only one "available" at the time. The Freedom to Fall So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily something that big and cosmic but 'happily ever after' would suffice just fine. Maybe you have somewhat of an idea the type of person you're looking for and you want to place your order with the cosmos - 'one true love meant for only me, please and thank you. Pen Pal Romance We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. Like Father Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5, 2004I was married for 21 years to a man who enjoyed strip clubs, drinking, and his buddies. These things became important to him after we married, and part of his job as an undercover cop. To Cheat or Not To Cheat You know I am getting fed up with people who cheat. That seems to be the norm these days. Great Relationship Advice: How to Balance Your Hear at Work with Your Heart at Home Remember the Tom Cruise movie "Jerry Maguire?"From my seat in the theater, this movie had a much more valuable message than it's catch phrase "show me the money."Tom Cruise plays the title character Jerry Maguire, a fast moving sports agent who lives for the big score and makes big money. For Soul Mates: Will you grow or stagnate? Divine Source through Barbara Rose Some soul mate couples refuse to grow. They refuse to resolve each of their core issues, which are the true sources of their personal pain. Zodiac Love Match - Can the Stars be Right? As a somewhat older gentleman (but still fairly good looking and somewhat romantic?) I have always enjoyed good relationships with the younger folk - Oh! The times I have been called upon over recent years to inspect and give an opinion on some poor new prospective boyfriend.Of course, it is somewhat flattering to be consulted for such advice by pretty young females. Gag Gifts Gag gifts can be very funny. They can also cause pain for the recipient, so you must choose your gag gift carefully. A Man Drought In Australasia - Bugger! Age is Against Me Men wanted desperately, it's official. The increasing surplus of high quality women in the 30 plus age group over suitable available men is becoming a major problem in both New Zealand and Australia. Recharging Your Relationship Now you may ask why we would write an article about developing better relationships. The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is. How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. Passions Search for Destiny She was haunted by a man whom she had never met. He came to her in her dreams. Passion or Purpose? I hate moderation. I hate doing things moderately. Relationship Advice: Closeness and Connection In my work with couples, certain themes have emerged that can help us understand how a couple that was once close can drift so far apart.How couples drift apart1) Life got in the way. How Can Empathy Shape Your Values? One of the most underrated concepts that most peopleoverlook is approaching life from an empathetic standpoint.Despite our best intentions, it is not always that we live bythis ethical code that is deeply embedded in all of us.
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
