|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Ten Tips to Play Together, and Stay Together: Lessons from the Teepee Turn-around
There is an old expression, which may sound trite, but I believe it is true, "People that play together, stay together." A couple (by marriage or some other agreement) can increase their chance of remaining a positive statistic, by creating a habit of engaging in fun activities together. These can be planned or spontaneous. When you have fun together, it creates positive memories, which act as seeds for a long, playful relationship. Carol operates a Bed & Breakfast and Country Vacation business. Through this, we have the opportunity to meet and learn about people from far and wide. Last summer John and Audrey arranged to stay with us, away from their Edmonton, Alberta home. They were both in their seventies, and had fond memories of time spent on farms when they were children. They thought it was time to revisit a farm and create some new fun memories. They arrived in mid afternoon, well ahead of when we expected them. I was repairing a fence, some distance from the yard and they did not see me as I approached. I stopped to watch "the game." Audrey jumped out of the car and headed straight for the house. John went the other direction to a large teepee we have in our yard. "Audrey, Audrey, come here. Look at this." John was pointing into the teepee. "We better check-in first, John." "No, come over here. It will just take a moment." "OK. Look at what?" She said begrudgingly as she peered into the teepee. "Go in and I'll show you." Audrey crouched and stepped over a strap of canvas along the ground. John reached over and pinched her butt. "Oh John!" she said with a giggle as she stood up quickly inside. John jumped through the doorway and chased Audrey around the inside of the teepee, both of them laughing and giggling as if they were young children. John and Audrey had been together for over 50 years and I expect they will be together for many more years. While they were with us, they played horseshoes, bocci, and ping-pong together. We shared stories, joked, and laughed. They slept in the teepee to experience something new. They had perma-grins. It was a very good thing! I remember when we were first married, we knew that play was important too. I played hockey two or three nights a week, and Carol played volleyball and racquetball two or three nights a week. It was good exercise and sociability for both of us, but not with each other. And the result was resentment, defensiveness, and discontent in our relationship. It was not a good thing! Ten Tips to play together and stay together: 1. Plan a ten-minute meeting. You may need to mark it in your planner. I'm serious here. Unless you schedule it, you may not do it. 2. Find a comfortable place to discuss fun things, away from the phone, friends, or kids. 3. Brainstorm all of the fun things that you would like to do together. Yes, that says "together," not me today and you tomorrow. If you list forty ways and places to have sex - that is fun, but it is just one thing. 4. Prioritize three things that you will do in the next week. These don't need to be majestic events, although they can be. It could be a romantic dinner, spa day, movie night, card game, or a walk in nature holding hands. Use your imagination and make them as wild and crazy, or as tame and relaxing as you wish. 5. Schedule these fun activities (dates and times) in your planner if necessary. These are agreements that you both commit to uphold. 6. Schedule another meeting next week to explore and plan the next week's fun activities. 7. Keep your agreements, regardless of the other "stuff" in life. A failure to follow-through on these agreements sends a powerful underlying message to your mate about the importance of your relationship. 8. If an unforeseen, uncontrollable "something" occurs that would hold you from your commitment, renegotiate another time to which you both agree. Do not cancel the activity. 9. Continue this process for four weeks. You are creating a new habit. 10. Celebrate your accomplishment in a fun way. The celebration keeps you motivated. Choose one of the fun things you like to do together, but with the intention that it is a reward for your commitment to your relationship. Yeah, I know. Some of you are thinking, "This is too structured." "It will take away from the fun." "It won't leave room for spontaneity." The point is this. Likely, you are not doing the fun things together now. Or if you are, you are not consciously recognizing them as such. Am I correct? Consciously commit to these Ten Tips and I guarantee that you will experience more fun and love in your relationship. Spontaneous fun will occur more often. You will approach each day with an uplifted attitude. There is always room for more happiness in my life. How about you? Dan Ohler is Thinkin' Outside The Barn!
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Sound Seduction Advice for Dating and Romance Success BackgroundSeduction is a subtle tool used with the ultimate goal in mind of attracting and having sex with a chosen partner. Seduction is a form of flirting, but is more ambitious in its means, fulfilling our desire for sex and companionship. Relationhip Advice: 10 Magic Words Just about every night at our house, we read a book called "Say The Magic Words Please" to our young son. The story has lots of magic words, such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me. Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. The First Ninety Days A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don't usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. Loves All About Chemistry People who have been swept off their feet know the feeling. Love makes us all feel funny. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. How to Improve Relationships with Feng Shui Remedies In order to improve relationships, many people have increasingly turned to Feng Shui remedies hoping to find a solution for their woes.The Feng Shui used in this article is the Eight Mansion (Pa-Kua) School under the Xuan Kong System. Interview with Tigress Luv: How To Get Over A Breakup Recently I had the opportunity to interview my personal favorite ebook author, Tigress Luv. She is a relationship expert who is widely known for her internet community. Support for Non-ADD Spouses and Partners Living with adult ADD can be quite a challenge. Not only is it a challenge for the actual person who has ADD but for those around him or her. Be Glad That There's Quarrel in Your Relationship Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you actually quarreled before? If your answer is yes, then you should be happy and be glad that it happened. But if your answer is however a no, then you should be aware of the danger that you are facing. Unprofessional Conduct Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 14, 2004I am sitting here so unsure of what to do anymore. I've never asked anyone for help of this type, as many people come to me for answers. Relationship Problems: Whats Your Contribution? As the story goes, there was once a farmer and his family. They lived in and farmed a huge and gorgeous valley, right next to an equally huge and gorgeous mountain range. Why We Chose The Person We Love "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -- George Santayana"Why do I always wind up with the wrong person? I want someone who is kind, loving, reliable and open. Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe the mind's tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present.For example, if your mother fed you chicken soup when you were ill as a child, you will always associate chicken soup to being loved and cared for. 9 Myths About Being Single More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47. Say, Whats On Your Mind, Partner? Stan is an incurable romantic. Ever since he started courting Marge seriously, he has been sending or bringing her flowers. Coping with Your Abuser How to cope with your abuser?Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages A man walking through the woods near a river hears desperate screams for help. He runs to the river to see someone struggling as the river pulls him downstream. Shattered Visions Sometimes it takes a girlfriend in order to have a really good shopping trip. It takes having someone who knows you very well either urging you forward on a contemplated splurge--or holding you back before you plunge ahead on one she knows you'll live to regret. Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 1 The Nothing Syndrome We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince and lives happily ever after.
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
